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Your
wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and
loam.
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You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed
tactically.
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Your children are required to clear housing before going
"TAD-Excess" to college.
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You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your
car's floorboard as a part of a tune-up.
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Your mini van is equipped with blackout lights.
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Your kids call their mother "Household 6."
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Your kids volunteer to pull Monitor Duty on the school bus.
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Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and
password.
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Your house has firing sector and distance sketches posted by
every window.
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You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at
Thanksgiving Dinner.
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Your kids show meal cards at the kitchen door, except the
oldest, who is on separate rats.
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You make your daughter sign out on a liberty pass on Prom
Night.
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Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."
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Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at
the Food Lion.
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You do your "back to school" shopping at the U.S.
Cavalry store.
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Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a
"Third phase drop."
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Your kids salute their grandparents.
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Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away
than your Commander's.
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Your kids get a monthly LES for their allowance.
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Your grandmother won "Squad leader of the year."
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All your kids have nicknames that start with 3/3, ?, 2/6,
MACS-5, etc.
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Your pickup has your name stenciled on the windshield.
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You have ECR cards from each of your kids for their toys and
other T/E equipment.
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Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry."
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Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.
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Your wife keeps B-Rat service utensils in the China cabinet.
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When your first wife left you, you held a "Change of
Command"
ceremony.
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You call your in-laws "those Regimental Staff pogues."
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You and your kids sing PT cadence songs when traveling, just
to pass the time.
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Your dog's name is "Recon."
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You bum "dips" from your fourteen year-old
daughter.
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All your possessions are military issue.
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Your kids call their sandbox "29 Stumps."
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You have pull-up bars outside your front door.
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Your daughter's first haircut was a high and tight.
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Your kids pull firewatch.
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Your newborn's first words were "Good to go Sir."
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You removed the lower branches from your yard's trees to
clear your fields of fire.
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You have an Ops calendar and a POD posted on the kitchen
(CP) wall.
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The standard command when you get in the family vehicle is
"Count, off!"
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You hold regular "Health and comfort" inspections
of your kids' rooms.
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You refer to your property line as the Line of Departure.